Coke Rules

Well, Coke's ads, do. By far, they are the best, classiest and, frankly, in the best taste of this pathetic lineup of the world's worst commercials. Someone takes the (relative) high road.

The Colts aren't going to let Devin Hester beat them and that's taking away a big part of the Bears' game. If I'm a Bears fan, I'm feeling great about keeping the Colts out of the end zone, but not so good about putting the ball in Rex's hands. Maybe he'll prove me wrong.

How's that for a stat? It's been 56 minutes since the Bears' last snap on offense. Nice play to Jones for their first first down in 25 minutes, 44 seconds. I'm a stat machine. Well, CBS is. I'm just passing it on. The Bears are actually doing something on offense. For the first time since the TD drive, they are actually moved toward their own goal.

Just watch what happens now, sports fans.

Uh oh, don't watch Bears fans. Rex Grossman sacks himself.

Loses 11 yards. Second-and-one to third-and-long. Grossman fumbles the snap and then runs away from the defense and goes down, again. Three and out. The Bears offense talked all week how they felt so disrespected. Who's talking now?

If I'm Brian Urlacher, I'm about ready to beat the shit out of my offense. That is if I wasn't so tired I could hardly lift my arms over my head.

Pepsi and Taco Bell both go with the talking wild animals. Same parent company, right? Must've have gotten a discount. At least, that shit ought to have come at a discount. Been there, done that Dr. Doolittle.