Location: Healdsburg, CA
I didn't sleep well last night. I had to use an Ambien in the first place, but one of the pugs got sick overnight and my husband woke me up cleaning up after him. It was just after 3:30 a.m. Normally falling back to sleep isn't hard for me but I've just got too much going on in that head of mine so I spent the rest of the night staring up at the ceiling, thinking about stuff nobody wants to think about in the wee hours of the morning.
I couldn't sleep in because my husband and I planned on hitting the Santa Rosa Farmers Market early. While he did the shopping (like I told you, he's the only cook in this family), I played Scrabble with friends while they sold handmade sausage from their stand. I even got a bit of material -- I've always got my writer's ears peeled in crowded places.
Tonight we had a surprise visit from two great friends and we ate clams we bought at the market and my husband's homemade brandade and then we did some grilling. Wine, good friends, meat, a little music (and oh yeah, the NCAA's playing in the background) made for a very nice evening.
I didn't want to see anybody tonight. I wanted to go home, take a nap and stay in bed and not deal. But I'm glad my friends got me up and about. Sometimes you don't realize when you need human contact, especially someone like me who prefers her own company (and perhaps a pug or two).
My friend Susie and I spoke today about our friend David. She hasn't been able to stop crying while I find I can't cry at all now. Weird. We've both still kind of floundering with this whole new reality, with missing David, with the shock and surprise of it all still so fresh in our minds that both of us have found ourselves independently wishing it's just a big cosmic mistake.
I hope y'all will forgive my musings about death lately. I'm having a hard time dealing with my friend's passing and this is one of the few places where I can work my way through the shit that's churning in my gut.
We had a break in the rain today and I got a shot I've been trying to capture ever since we moved here last May. There's a tree set on the top of the hill in the back and I love the way it seems alone against the big sky, way up there in the distance. This is the closest I've gotten to capturing it as I see it in my mind. I used the K100D, the 200mm lens and edited very lightly in Photoshop.
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