Location: Healdsburg, Ca.
I don't have much. The last two days have beaten me up a bit and I'm a little manic in those moments when I'm not staring into space like an idiot. I am grateful for my friends and even more grateful for my friend Dave's friends. He had so many and it appears he touched all of them in a significant way, those he knew in person and just on the Internets, those that knew him by his writing. If a life can be judged by what one leaves behind, then he was a wealthy man.
I still cannot believe he's gone. It's the surreal thing I've ever been through. But in the numbness and sorry, there's also a little anger creeping in, too. I'm starting to feel really pissed off. I know that's a good thing, I know it's a baby step in the right direction but it doesn't make any of it easier.
The truth is I don't want to feel better. Because feeling better means moving on and moving on means the unthinkable, that life goes on and it goes on with or without the people you love, even the people who were part of your life and are gone. Then you wake up one day and realize that you're never going to see them again and there's nothing you can do about it. Nothing but cry.
This is why I think it takes time to get through the grieving process. Because it's just hard to let go.
So I'm going to hold on a little bit longer for now.
1 comment:
I love this photo, and I am very sorry about your friend. I am going to get HBO again so I can watch his show.
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