365 Photo Project - Day 274

Taken:  July 10, 2011
Location: Healdsburg, Ca

Now that I've changed the way I eat and gotten over some of my more self-destructive habits, I've found some solace in working on my small but growing collection of Converse sneakers.  I believe these are my oldest current pair, dating back about 20 years. I really didn't get into buying Cons until about three years ago when a friend gifted me a new pair for my birthday and when I bought these, I didn't have that much to spend on sneakers (and I probably had a job that required I wear something other than Chuck Taylors to work). Still, I'd like to think the obsession can be traced back to these simple kicks. Every few months, I go through my collection and give away or trade in the pairs I don't wear anymore. These ain't going anywhere.

I often will drag my Cons out to practice shooting and editing pictures. This was from one of those sessions.

365 Photo Project - Day 190

Taken: July 9, 2010, 1 p.m.
Location: Santa Rosa, Ca.

365 Photo Project - Day 179

Taken: June 28, 2010, 11 p.m.
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.

This was taken with my new iPhone 4. You probably get that I'm a big gadget geek by now but I've never been that person that upgrades on The First Day. I was under another carrier's cell phone contract when the first iPhone came out (and I wasn't about to pay $400 for it anyway) so I had to wait for the second gen to come out before I got mine. I've only upgraded once since and when I heard about the possibility that the iPhone 4 would be out this summer, I put off another upgrade. When it did come out, I was eligible for it and got the lowest price (with a new two-year contract with AT&T, the world's worst cell phone carrier). I reserved my phone online, waltzed into the Apple Store at 2 p.m. and picked up my new iPhone.

The reported problems aside, I'm happy with all the new things this phone can do, especially the multi-tasking whose time had come two iPhones ago. I'm hoping Apple does the right thing and addresses the other problems (like the weird antenna reception thing) but won't hold my breath.

As for the camera, I'm impressed. Not as I said yesterday that it would ever replace my DSLR. I decided to try it out for a couple of days and see what I came up with. This is a shot I took using the built-in LCD flash, a very cool and welcomed add-on. I did some editing in Photoshop and the fact that I could create something half-decent is a tribute to how good these phone-cameras are getting. A ways to go for sure, but cool nonetheless.

365 Photo Project - Day 169

Taken: June 18, 2010, 11:18 p.m.
Location: Healdsburg, Ca.

Today is a momentous day for me. Last night, I worked late writing and I had a breakthrough that was small but exciting, a tough writing problem that had taken me weeks to solve. It was one of those things that got my heart racing and when I drove home I felt good. Really good. And then I thought to myself that I wished I could workout.

This thought is one I used to have a lot but not lately. I love to workout. Love the sweating, the energy it gives me, the way it helps me sleep, the smile it puts on my face -- I even love the way my body aches a little afterward. But I haven't been working out for a long time. I stopped more than a year ago and I haven't started up again. I mean I've been trying -- I walk, I cycle but nothing consistent.

A few years ago, I discovered the Precor Elliptical machine and fell in love. Sounds silly but when I workout on the elliptical, I feel like I'm flying. I'm Snoopy doing his Snoopy dance to Vince Guaraldi's piano music, his nose straight in the air, his feet bouncing (Snoopy not Vince). That's how it feels to me.  When we moved up to Healdsburg and lived at the end of that long dirt road, I bought myself a used Precor for my birthday. For awhile it was the best money I ever spent.. At first, I used it almost every day. But I stopped for some reason and I never got started up again. My husband hated it and tried to talk me out of the purchase but when it's a 40 minute drive to the nearest gym, you adapt. Once he tried it, he was hooked.

Then when we moved here, my husband who has taken to using it every day now, put the Precor on our covered porch.  I never liked having it out there. But now I think I was just using that as an excuse not to workout.

Last night, though, the only thought in my head as I drove up our road was "I need to workout."  And even though it was after ten when I got home, I knew nothing was going to stop me. So I uncovered the Precor and hooked up my iPod and off I went. It was magical. Mag-i-cal. Halfway through, I felt the stress of the last few weeks melt off of me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, a smile broke out over my face. Not just any smile. A big, gulp-inducing, center of your chest, happy, slobbery grin. A smile that starts on the inside and works its way out.

It was so great I couldn't wait to get on the machine again tonight. And I did. I admit it was hard and my body was stiff and it took me 10 minutes just to get warmed up, but I got to that smile-inducing place again eventually. I get this way sometimes. I'm a creature of habit who needs routine to be disciplined. I'm a daydreamer and while that works well for my writing, it can play havoc with my life. But I know myself well enough to know when my mind turns at the same time as my body and I'm there. Now I just have to ride the wave.

Which means tomorrow is another day to be like Snoopy and dance.

365 Photo Project - Day 149

Taken: May 29, 2009, 6 p.m.
Location: Healdsburg, Ca.

These are my new Converse. I've been wanting them for months but didn't want to fork out the $150 they cost retail. But I'm patient and when they finally went on sale, I pounced on them.  Got me a great deal, too. I know I'm going to look back on my blog a year or so from now and be totally chagrinned for the days when I just wrote about my silver sneakers. But these days, I've been leaving a lot of my work on the page and for a writer, there's nothing better. I'll catch a second wind soon. I hope you'll bear with me 'til I do.

365 Photo Project - Day 135

Taken: May 15, 2010, 10:30 p.m.
Location: Healdsburg, CA

It's after 3 a.m. as I write this. Rewrite it really. I lost the first draft. I should be sleeping though. But it's been a long time since I've had a really good night's sleep.

I don't know why I'm not sleeping. I blame a part of it on my internet addictions. It's added a lot of noise to my life -- the cacophony of blips and bleeps, whines and hisses, talking and singing, rhythms that never stop. Don't get me wrong: the Internet has been a life-saver too. Access to information and research, the ability to keep in touch with friends without having to deal with everyone individually. The immediacy of email, the fun shopping. Lots of good there.

But I've been trying to tune it out more and more lately and I think it's helping. So does Ambien but I can't take it every night. Exercise sometimes does the trick too but it doesn't always quiet the noise. What I miss most is my writing voices. They don't talk to me the way they used to and I'd give anything to get them back. I think turning the sound down on everything else is going to help me get them back.

I've found kindred spirits though in the new HBO show, Treme. As readers to this blog know, my friend David Mills wrote and produced on the series, which is co-created by his college friend (and "The Wire" creator) David Simon. Mills died suddenly in March just two weeks before "Treme" premiered. I remember him telling me about the show and how he wasn't sure it would work or if anyone would care.

Well, it works all right. I'm so taken with its sense of place, the dramatization of the struggle of New Orleans residents in the months after Katrina, people saved from drowning in the flood yet sinking in bureaucracy and red tape, weighed down by racism, corrupt politicians and ignorance. I love how the show celebrates and uses live music, how it moves along at a pace that is one leisurely and urgent. And I feel a slight kinship with the characters and their battle against the extra noise in their lives.

I'm not saying my struggle is any measure as bad as what happened to the people who are trying to recover from Katrina. But I do empathize and I love where the producers are taking us and am enjoying the ride.

I just wish I wasn't contemplating it in the middle of the night. But that's my lot these days I guess, lying awake listening to the creatures scurrying inside my bedroom walls, hearing the variety of sounds outside -- the freeway in the distance and closer, the owls, turkeys and occasional dog barking.

I miss sleeping like the dead and I feel the strain the day after a restless night. I think sometimes part of my problem is, like most people, I'm not satisfied with dealing with today. I'm always thinking I have to get there, though where "there" exactly is is debatable. I know the Tibetans are right -- the future is unknown and wishing for it to be like we want is fruitless. I try to live in the here and now but it's hard sometimes, especially when you worry you're not as far along as you should be.

I've started to make daily lists. Not just to keep a record of what I need to do every day but also to keep track of what I've done. I can save them and look back and see how much I've accomplished and the progress feels more concrete. If I could just accept the small things, I have a feeling it will help me sleep at night. It's a start anyway.

365 Photo Project - Day 15

Taken: January 15, 2010, Approx 7:30 p.m.

Location: Healdsburg, CA

I’m not obsessive about stuff. Not usually anyway. But I am into my shoes -- or precisely, I’m into my Converse All-Stars. And anybody who knows me knows this. Any look into my life wouldn’t be complete without at least one photo of my kicks. And I’m not saying how many I have but my favorites are a silver pair of John Varvatos slip-ons I got at the Converse Outlet Store for $100 off retail.  I'm always looking for new and different styles so that's probably me searching around Zappos for a new pair.

Taken with my Pentax K100D and edited in Photoshop.